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Sunny sides. Flowery rocks. Rocky flowers.

Month

January 2012

This is what happens when I can’t sleep…

Baby Got Books

by Lady Reads-A-Lot

 

I like big books and I cannot lie

You other readers can’t deny

That when a book jumps in your itty bitty hands

And a square thing in your face you get sprung

 

Wanna pull up tough

Cause I noticed that book was stuffed

Deep in the bag you’re wearing

I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring

 

Oh baby, I wanna read witcha

And take yo picture

My homegirls tried to warn me

But that book you got is better than porn-y

 

Ooh Leather Smoothskin

You say you wanna get in my lens?

Well use me, use me

‘Cause I ain’t your average groupie

 

It’s better than dancin’;

Even got some romancin’,

I sweat, I fret,

Got it goin’ like a turbo Vette.

 

I’m tired of magazines

Sayin’ tv is the thing

Take the average reader and ask her that

She thinks books are phat

 

So, fellas,

(Yeah!)

Fellas!

(Yeah!)

Does your girlfriend read a book?

(Hell yeah!)

Tell her to shake it, shake it, shake that favorite book

 

Baby got books

 

I like ’em rectangular and big

And when I’m buyin’ like a pig

I just can’t help myself

I’m acting like an animal

Now here’s my scandal

 

I want to get you home

And uh, double-up, uh-uh.

I ain’t talkin’ bout Playboy

Silicone parts are made for toys (But the articles are pretty damn good.)

 

I want ’em real thick and juicy

So find that juicy novel

Reads-a-Lot’s in deep

Beggin’ for another quick peek

 

So I’m lookin’ at movie videos

Book version plots playin’ like hoes

You can have them bimbos

Remember those nails on Flo Jo?

 

A word to the thick book mastas, I wanna get witcha

I might cuss or throw ya

But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna

read til the break of dawn

 

Baby got it goin on

A lot of you won’t like this song

Cause them punks like to skim it and quit it

But I’d rather stay all day

 

So ladies

(Yeah!)

Ladies!

(Yeah!)

If you wanna drive a Mercedes,

Then read a book, and read some more

All the smart boys got to shout.

 

Baby got books.

 

So your boyfriend hates to read

And only likes tv

But tv ain’t gonna make the heart grow fonder

His anaconda don’t get none unless he’s got books, hon

 

You can do sidebends or situps

But please don’t lose those books!

Some brothers want to play that hard role

And tell you that books aren’t gold

So they toss it and leave it

And I pull up quick to retrieve it

 

So Cosmo says you’re nerdy

It ain’t down or dirty

But your cover is slick and your pages are kickin’

I’m thinkin’ bout stickin’ (my head in a book.)

 

To the brainless dames in the magazines,

You ain’t it, Miss Thang

 

So ladies if the book is good

And you want to talk about it in the hood

Call 1-800-READS-A-LOT

And bring some wine if you could.

 

Baby got books.

 

Little bit mental but she got much books.

Little bit mental but she got much books.

Little bit mental but she got much books.

(Inspired by the one and only knighted rapper I know of; the one who, when interviewed on VH1’s I Love the 80’s, noted that he looks like “a big dancing turd” on the large white buttocks in the video. Why didn’t they make them black? In fact, they’re yellow. Anyway, cheers to you, Sir Mix-a-lot, you made my 80’s a lot more fun and I thank you for paying tribute to lovely, non-stick figure women.)

 

 

 

 

Best of 2011

Are you sick of these lists yet? They start earlier and earlier, it seems. Oh well, whether you’re ready or not, it’s time for my annual Best Of playlist! At least, I think I did one last year. If I didn’t, then this is the first annual Best Of playlist.

I start making my yearly playlist on Jan. 1 every year. I love doing it. I love seeing what we bought through the year. The ridiculous amount of money that I would rather forget about spending in iTunes every year results in our end of year playlist. Of the 30 some-odd singles we bought, only the best of the best can make it to the final playlist. And it’s really not just my playlist. It’s my family’s, and every family member has input. I make sure we are all reflected in the playlist from the year. So blah blah blah, let’s get to it.

Anderson’s Best of 2011:

1. On the Floor/Jennifer Lopez: We loved her on American Idol and how can you not shake your booty when you hear “Let me introduce you… to my party people…in the cluuuuuuuub…” It’s a fun one and won the lead-in spot.

2. Tightrope/Janelle Monae: This one is, for me, a different sound. That’s what attracted me to it, initially. I thought, this is like Outkast different. And lo and behold, Big Boi is featured on it! I love that they hail from ATL and it’s something new. Even had to get it for my ringtone.

3. (It) Feels So Good/Steven Tyler: Oh, Steven Tyler, you sexy, rhyming, soulful, kooky rascal, you. You old-enough-to-be-my-father, you. This song makes me play my air guitar and scream in glass-breaking pitch. We loved him, too, on Idol.

4. Born This Way/Lady Gaga: The kids love the Gag-ster. I love the message. So here it is.

5. Animal/Neon Trees: Honestly, I have no idea who this group is. Haven’t even Googled them. All I know is, it’s a great tune for driving on the highway.

6. Moves Like Jagger/Levine and Aguilera: When I first heard this song, I didn’t like it. Which I now know means it will be HUGE. It grew on me. The kids love it. Gave me reason to educate the 10 year old and 6 year old on all things Jagger and Stones.

7. Grenade/Bruno Mars: The kids and I love to sing this one, with all of that emotion and heart-wrenching despair…”why were they open?” I don’t know, though, I kind of regret putting it on here due to the overplay, much like Adele.

8. Stereo Hearts/Gym Class Heroes: Again, no clue who these people are. I’m so freakin’ old. Kids love it. I don’t mind driving along to it. Have you noticed my husband hasn’t been mentioned yet? He could care less about the first part of this list.

9. Mr. Know It All/Kelly Clarkson: The kids and I love her. She is our American Idol. I love that she is never in the tabloids. She can sing anything. She is lovely.

10. Save Me, San Francisco/Train: Okay, is there a Train backlash or something? Regardless, we like their songs. That lead singer looks older and I’m all for older folks having success (J. Lo, S. Ty, Train.)

11. Brighter Than the Sun/Colbie Caillat: This is the sweetest little song. My 6 year old belts it out like there’s no tomorrow. This is, hands down, her favorite. I like positive songs that brighten my mood, and this one is all that.

12. Come Back Song/Darius Rucker: And now we come to the country portion of the playlist. My husband loves this one. As we all do. He and I went to see DR in September and he is awesome. Such a fun show. I love this man’s voice, whether it be country or otherwise. He also happens to be my celebrity crush and from my homestate of SC. Ah, Darius, how I love to hear you on my radio.

13. Knee Deep/Zac Brown Band: Come on, this is another great party song by some good Georgia boys. Raise your beer and sing along. Our whole family loves them. Also went to see them with some great friends in the summer and had a blast. I love all kinds of music, but seems like I only go to see country shows. Guess I am a country Southern girl at heart.

14. Dirt Road Anthem/Jason Aldean: We all love this one, too. Jason is also from Georgia, my birth state and adopted homestate. I think he took a bit of a risk on this one, adding in the rap segment, but I love it. Again, something new and different. And I love it when several music styles are melded into one, since I love so many different styles of music.

15. Barton Hollow/Civil Wars: Well, this group just blew up this year, didn’t they?! I remember before I knew who they were, I saw them on Leno (who I never watch because of my unfailing, stalker-like loyalty to Conan O’Brien.) I asked my husband, “Who is that?” and could not tear myself away from their hauntingly beautiful harmonies. It was just the two of them and a guitar. I love this song and loudly sing Joy Williams’ part every time it’s on…”cain’t no preacher man save my…SOUL.”

16. All Your Life/The Band Perry: This one is for me. Again, I love to belt it out like I am Kimberly Perry and I am at the Ryman Auditorium…”all your li i i i fe…li i i ife…” And I love the writing. Of this song and the others. I love when she does that part “Lately I’ve been writing… desperate love songs… mostly sing them to the wall. You could be the centerpiece ooooof my obsessio-o-on, if you would notice me, I, oh whoa, yeah ye-ah yeah…” Love the drama and the heartache! Love that they write their stuff. They’re Alabama peeps. My ancestors are from Alabama, so I figure we’re probably related, right?

Last but not least 17. Rhythm of Love/Plain White T’s: Thought this was a good one to end on. Sweet, good theme, and we all like it. And that’s really what it’s all about- love. From the Beatles in the 60’s to the Plain White T’s in 2011, and now to you: Love is all we need.

All the best to you and yours in 2012,

Katie

 

 

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