Yellow Daisy Chick Chat

The March, Part 1: This Is What Democracy Looks Like

Last time, I posted a blog about my disappointment in/incredulity at my fellow white Americans who voted for Trump.

A lot of people loved it and a lot of people hated it. A lot of people love Trump and a lot of people hate him. This is where we find ourselves.

I have family relationships that are now strained, friend relationships that are strained, friend relationships whose status is just…unknown. I have made new friends, I have lost some friends. I have trolls who are now responding to my blog and social media because I am speaking out against Trump and questioning voters who voted for him.

It’s a strange time for all of us. I think we can all agree on that.

My last post was an outlet for how I was feeling. We are all processing these events in our own way. You don’t have to like it. I stand by it. Based on my life experiences, that’s how I was feeling. Based on your life experiences, you can like it or hate it. If you liked it, I hope it helped you. If you hated it, I hope it is part of one of many difficult conversations we all have to have at some point. If you hated it, let it serve as a reminder from me that we are all still here, no matter how much you want us to go away. We’re not moving to Canada. Your candidate won but you still have to deal with us.

Another outlet for me was the Women’s March on Washington. It was the honor and privilege of a lifetime to attend the event. I posted on Facebook why I was marching and I’ll post it here again:

I have decided to do multiple posts on the March, as I am still processing it and it’s something so much larger than myself. I want to do it justice. I hope you enjoy Part 1:

The March, Part 1: This Is What Democracy Looks Like

I rode a bus from Atlanta with about 50 other women and a few men. They were all different shades of white, black, brown. My incredible, supportive husband dropped my friend and me off. Shout-out to him and all the men (including my dad, my father-in-law, my brother, my cousin, my friends’ husbands) who support women and their need to march.

There were six buses going from Atlanta, with many more from other cities/towns in GA. It appeared that most of the women on my bus were from inside the perimeter but there were some of us from OTP. I have never done anything like this before in my life, and I had my share of anxiety about the whole thing. Would it be safe? Would the other women be nice? Would someone near me get me drawn into a fight and get me arrested? Would the buses have a wreck or break down? (One did break down but made it in time for the march.) Would I have to go to the bathroom when no porta-potty was around? These are the things I thought about as I got on the bus.

First of all, the bus was lovely. It was like an airplane, with tv screens, personal lights, air vents and charging outlets at every seat. There was a bathroom that held up until near the end. They stopped every few hours for bathrooms, food and leg stretches. I would like to shout out to the Flyin’ J where we stopped twice — the nicest workers and cleanest restrooms ever. We were treated with kindness and respect by everyone when we stopped and I can only imagine what people thought when six buses of women wearing “Nasty Woman” and “Women’s March” shirts and matching pink knitted hats entered the truck stop. Not one person said anything ugly to us. Not one.

img_4087-2 — 2:00 a.m. Many thanks to Flyin’ J’s for the oasis they provided us.

The bus drivers were also lovely. The loveliest. They sang softly to us to wake us up (“wake up, sleepyheads, it’s time for a poopy stop!”) and took such good care of us. They supported us completely and told us so. They told us that they would be marching with us if they didn’t have to sleep so they could get us home. Our main driver, Lamont, was full of kindness and love and good humor. I feel so fortunate to have had him as a part of my March experience, and consider him, his co-workers and his company Atlantic to be a big part of its success.

The women around me on the bus were quiet and sleeping for most of the trip. We chatted a bit and shared info but for the most part, tried to rest. The bus captains were absolute champions. They kept us informed and organized. They answered our questions. They were tough as nails. Any anxiety about this trip diminished as I saw how competent and fearless they were.

(Note: Sleeping on a bus is an under-appreciated aspect of protesting. There is literally no comfortable sleeping position in a bus seat, no matter how hard we tried. Eventually, your body gives up and you will sleep a fitful sleep of a few hours. You consider lying down in the aisle. You study how others are sleeping and try to make it work. You remind yourself why you are doing this and you don’t complain. Well, maybe you do a little. You’re not perfect, ok? So I now want to say to civil rights protesters like John Lewis, “thank you for getting your skull cracked, for getting arrested and beaten, and for sleeping on a bus for us.”)

bus-sleeping — Not me or my bus, but basically all of us on my bus.

Once we finally arrived after 12 hours of travel, we pulled up to RFK Stadium and saw bus after bus after bus. I saw a sea of pink hats walking toward the Rally location. I felt the energy. I felt alive. I felt the love. I knew that missing two nights of sleep was a small sacrifice to be able to be a part of this historic and important event.

fullsizerender-2 — Not the best photo quality but it was a marvel to see.

Stay tuned for Part 2!

January 23, 2017 2

What the Actual Hell, White People?

HOW IS THIS YOUR GUY?

We all have political issues that we care about and place our vote in such a way as to support our issues. But when it came down to it, HOW THE HELL WAS THIS YOUR GUY?

I’ve often fantasized about an America where the two political parties both put up the best of the best and we all have to really think hard about our choice. Because that would really be good for the country. As we all know, that didn’t happen and never will. Neither candidate this time around was perfect. But when it came down to that choice in the booth, HOW THE HELL WAS HE YOUR GUY?

I remember talking with moderate (obviously white) Republicans early on and they were disgusted by him. They said they either wouldn’t vote or they would vote for HRC. So I said to myself, “Self- it’s going to be fine. These good people get it. He will never win.” But you know what? My red county that always votes around 70% Republican — they voted 69.3% for him. Hmm.

Republicans, that’s about as sad as sad can be. I believe you that you didn’t like him but you voted for him because you wanted a piece of the Trump pie. If he won, you were betting that you would get your piece. In spite of all of the horrible things he did and said, in spite of the horrific person he is, you voted for him.

So how’s that pie tasting right now? Delicious? Bittersweet? Giving you the runs yet? Most likely a flavor combo of Borscht and vodka. I don’t know because for the most part, you’re not talking to me about it. Most of you are awfully quiet on social media. I do wonder what you all say to one another to rally yourselves. A Republican, non-voting relative did send me a conservative defense of DT and it was heartbreakingly ignorant. It more or less said “fear not, conservatives — we should get what we want out of him even though he’s an asshat.” So do you just not care about other people who aren’t white Christians? Aren’t you worried that he might not give a shit about you, either? Given his cabinet appointees, most of them aren’t concerned with the little guy. But I guess Fox News is telling you differently, and for that, I truly am sad for you when he screws you, too.

But I also blame you. For aligning yourselves with this National Joke to get what you want. He’s your guy now and you’re responsible for him. Period. We all hold you responsible. How must that feel? It gives me the creeps and makes me want a shower to even imagine it.

I’m giving a great deal of my time right now to fight you and your guy. Time I would rather use for many other things, but I must give up to do what’s right. I’m a white, Christian Democrat. I might be the only white, Christian Democrat you know but trust me, there are many of us. And we are pissed and we will fight because we care about rights for all and that’s what we were taught to do as kids in Sunday School. Were you there? Where the hell did you go to Sunday School that HE IS YOUR GUY?

You’ve also made it super hard now for us white people who actually like black people. We had made some progress but things had heated up recently with the police shootings and the Black Lives Matter vs All Lives Matter/Blue Lives Matter debacle. (BTW they just wanted you to say, “yes, we hear you, of course, yes, black lives do matter.” That’s all. They just wanted you to acknowledge that their children’s lives matter. And you chose not to.) And now YOUR GUY has the support of the KKK and white supremacist groups and even has one in the White House. So, yeah, now it makes it even shittier to be a white person who likes black people because they aren’t going to trust any of us and frankly, I don’t blame them.

What the actual hell, White People? What the hell have you done to all of us? #Resist

January 17, 2017 5

#ResistTrump #AndEverythingHeStandsFor

Oh hi!

In case you’re wondering if I’ve “gotten over it” yet, clearly, I haven’t and I won’t.

Guys. In my previous posts, I’ve outlined what’s going on over here in Yellow Daisy Chick land. I thought I’d just continue with this subject matter because, honestly, it’s what matters right now to me and I can think of no better way to use my blog than on how we need to #ResistTrump.

The good news is that people are speaking up and verbalizing their outrage and that makes all the difference. One of those people is me. I used to keep a lot of things close to the vest, to make my life in a red town/county/state bearable, but at this point — I can no longer stay quiet.

I’ve been busy. Nothing huge but even the little things help. Here’s what I’ve been up to:

Documenting acts of hate in the state of GA. It’s mind-boggling how many things have been occurring in our nation…if you don’t believe it, please talk to an African-American person, a Muslim person, a woman, a gay person…I’m sure they can fill you in. I’m focusing for now on my state.
Made reservations with friends and family to attend the Women’s March in DC. Please join us! Women’s March
Donated to the Malala Fund to support girls’ education for #GivingTuesday.
Mailed postcards to our President-Elect in protest of Steve Bannon’s involvement in our soon-to-be administration. Have you seen this ridiculous Breitbart article? Uninvent the Washing Machine and Birth Control Pill
Purchased Kellogg’s products and posted a photo on their Facebook page supporting their stance on removing their advertising from Breitbart.
Hung out with my super-cool gay friend, who is not super-cool because she is gay, but because she is super-cool.
Watched the documentary 13th on Netflix at the suggestion of some African-American friends. Learned many new things and saw life from a new, different perspective. I highly recommend it.
Selected the Nature Conservancy as my charity of choice for my Amazon Smile account.
Met with a like-minded, interracial group of concerned adults who also want to #ResistTrump #AndAllHeStandsFor. We come from different backgrounds but we all stand for human decency, equal rights for all, treating others with respect, safety for our children, and against the bully pulpit that our President-Elect promotes.
Realized that I must come out of my “comfort zone” to make things even the least bit better. Acknowledged that I am clueless on many things regarding race and have opened up myself to learn and listen.

This list is not to say, “look what I did” — it’s to try to inspire and encourage anyone who wants to do something but doesn’t know where to start. If there has ever been a time to stand up, that time is now. Contact me if you want to get to work.

If you’re wondering what in the world I’m talking about, please read news from a source that is different from what you typically read. Try the New York Times, Time, PolitiFact, NPR, hell, the AJC. Make sure it’s a source you’ve heard of and check it out if it’s not. Branch out and see what you think. I’m particularly curious about those of you who voted for him and are now starting to get nervous.

If you’re wondering why I don’t just accept your Republican candidate, it’s not that he’s Republican. It’s that he is a horrible human being. Outwardly, unabashedly, he is a total dick. He has made fun of disabled people…at a public speaking event! He has spoken about being okay with sexually assaulting women. And even pro athletes have agreed it’s not just locker room talk. He has chosen the same big-bank big-wigs that ran our country into the ground to serve in his cabinet. He has chosen a white supremacist to advise him in the White House.

When you tell me he’s not going to do the things he said, he’s already done them. This white, Christian Democrat will continue to fight against this national disgrace until he is gone.

Take care of yourselves and each other,

Yellow Daisy Chick

December 4, 2016 2

Be The Change

As you may have learned from my last post, I was devastated by our election results.

And I still am.

It’s a combination of :

-Disbelief that so many people would believe in and vote for a rich guy from a reality-show, who also happens to be bigoted, divisive, inexperienced as an elected leader and just…so…mean.

-Sadness that there are so many people who believe only people who look like them, worship like them, love like them, deserve to have the same rights and freedoms as they do.

-Anger that as hard as women, people of color, the LGBTQ community, and non-Christians have worked to gain these same rights, any progress we have made will now be undone.

-Sense of failure that as a parent, I could not protect my children from having to experience this election.

I am still working through all of these emotions and more and will continue to. I am lucky to have some wonderful friends and family who are going through the same thing and we will get each other through it.

What I’ve decided is that what I can control is my own actions. I must now walk the walk for myself, my family, my children, my minority friends and their children, my gay/lesbian friends and their children, and my non-Christian friends and their children and women everywhere.

I am pledging to myself to work in four areas to try to be the change we need in this country: women’s issues, education, the environment, and outreach to marginalized groups. I keep a bullet journal and it has helped me organize myself during this stressful, frightening time. It will also keep me accountable and help me track my work.

So far this week, I have made plans to attend the Million Women March in Washington DC (for women); signed up to volunteer at Books for Africa on Inauguration Day (for education); and I have emailed friends in marginalized groups to start a dialogue on how they are coping and taking care of themselves during the election aftermath (for outreach). And it’s only Wednesday.

This brings me to another important action item: self-care. If you are emotionally distraught over the election, feel targeted by the now emboldened bullies/bigots, or perhaps have strained, damaged or severed relationships post-election, you must take time to care for yourself. However you need to do that. Take care of yourself and then you will be able to take care of others.

If none of this makes any sense to you or you think I am a “whiner” or a “sore loser”, please go away. Truly, from the deepest part of my heart, I have zero interest in you. If you really do want to understand, go read. Go do the work. Yes, I know your crazy candidate won. But the rest of us are all still here. And we are organizing. And we are working hard to make things right. I’m a white, Christian Democrat and I am deeply sorry I haven’t been working this hard before. I am praying a lot about my own failures. But now I’m going to work my ass off. And readers- I would love for you to join me. ❤

Take care of yourselves and each other,

Yellow Daisy Chick

November 16, 2016 4

Not Gonna Make Nice

OMG. What have you done? America…you have really screwed the pooch this time.

I didn’t. I didn’t vote for him. Girl, please. I have some self respect. I have respect for others who are not like me. I have respect for the greater good.

Interestingly enough, I live in a heavily-Republican, small town in Georgia. I’ve met some good people here. Some good Republicans. I’ve always voted Democrat. I’ve tried to get along and live my life.

But now. This was no ordinary Republican. This is not a simple case of the average Republican white dude beating my Democratic candidate. This is a repulsive, hate-spewing, divisive, lying-by-the-minute egomaniac joke with no experience serving his country.

It’s shameful. It’s soul-killing. It makes me deeply, darkly sad. I’m a white woman in a red town, county and state. I am disgusted by the white race. I’m particularly disgusted by the white women who voted for him.

If this pisses you off, I don’t care. If you’re feeling guilty now that you voted for him and he actually won, that’s on you, boo. I think there are many of you. Good luck reconciling that when you’re trying to sleep at night.

If this resonates with you, please know that I am with you. If you feel unsafe, or weak, or lonely in your support of Hillary Clinton and all of the people she stands for, contact me and I will help you. I feel so deeply concerned for all minorities and all marginalized people who are truly scared for their safety. I am not sleeping at night because I am so worried about you.

For all of you who voted for him and are calling for us to all “come together,” it’s too late. He said horrible things about many of us, we all got the message real clear, and you’re on your own with that shitshow. He is not us. We will not unite behind him. We will fight until he is gone.

Phew. That felt amazing.

Please take care of yourselves. AND EACH OTHER!

Yellow Daisy Chick

november

November 10, 2016 2

Quick Dinner Inspiration: Easy Chicken & Black Bean Enchiladas

Today’s quick dinner inspiration: Easy Chicken & Black Bean Enchiladas!

Who DOESN’T need quick and easy dinner inspiration? I couldn’t find a recipe I was happy with, so I combined several into this yummy one-dish meal. It’s quick, easy, healthy and tasty…the major criteria for a winner, winner, Mexican dinner!

These are the basic ingredients you’ll need, plus a rotisserie chicken:

You’ll make a quick filling, heat the tortillas, dip in a prepared enchilada sauce, fill tortillas, cover with more sauce, top with cheese and bake. Serve with baked tortilla chips, a quick guacamole and salsa.

Ingredients:

1 T. olive oil

1 chopped onion

1 minced garlic clove

Cumin

Chili powder

Salt

Pepper

1 can diced tomatoes

1 can diced green chiles

1/2 can black beans

1 small can corn

Chopped chicken from rotisserie chicken

8 corn tortillas

2 cups shredded Mexi-cheese

Directions:

Saute onions in 1 T olive oil for 5 min. Add garlic, sprinkle of cumin, chili powder, salt, and pepper and heat for 1 min. Add chiles, canned tomatoes, corn, beans and chicken and heat through. Remove from heat.

Heat tortillas as directed on package. Spoon 1/2 c. of enchilada sauce into bottom of 9×13 pan. Dip each tortilla in enchilada sauce, spoon 2 heaping tablespoons of filling in center of tortilla, roll up and place in pan seam side down. Continue with remaining tortillas. Top with enchilada sauce and Mexi-cheese.

Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes.

Quick Guac: Mash 2 avocados and mix with lime juice, 3-4 T. green salsa, cumin, salt & pepper.

Buen provecho!

Eat well, my friends!

xo- Yellow Daisy Chick

November 2, 2016 0

Quality Time

Quality Time: 5 TV Shows I Can Actually Watch With My Preteen and Teen

There’s nothing worse than watching a show with your middle and high school kids that you think is going to be fine but actually is not. You settle in with your popcorn and wine and blankets and get all cozy with your favorite people and then, out of nowhere, characters start making sex jokes or using mildly bad words (that are the ones everyone uses and you really don’t care, but still, out of principle!) and it all gets pretty awkward, pretty quick.

What does a mom have to do around here to watch a tv show with her kiddos?

It’s getting harder and harder. Unless it’s sports, our tv options are getting slim and slimmer with the kids. Growing up in the 70s and 80s, we had tons of wholesome tv to watch with the family: The Dukes of Hazzard, where I aspired to one day wear short shorts and drive a white Jeep like Daisy Duke; Little House on the Prairie, where I learned that child birth was horrifying before modern drugs (thanks a lot, Ma); Solid Gold, where I learned the joys of ending a group dance in a dramatic pose; and perhaps the all-time best — The Love Boat, where no one ever got norovirus and everyone fell in love.

loveboat

88da7c7ef1c202c72bbdc849b58eb1db

As my kids get older, they’re so busy with school and activities; it’s hard to even find a night that we can all hang out together, much less sit and watch a show together. Fortunately, with the magic of DVR, we have been able to find time to watch some favorites together. Finding a show that appeals to an 11 year-old girl and a 15 year-old boy also presents a challenge, but we’ve managed to find a few that brings us to the same room at the same time with limited awkwardness, and for that, I am forever grateful.

1. Dancing With the Stars:
Not only is this show a winner to watch with the kids, it’s works with grandparents, too. I do try to hold my tongue and not be totally catty, except when someone really sucks or their “star” status is questionable. But there’s always a sports star for my son, a young Disney star or Olympian gymnast for my daughter, and plenty of eye candy and cool dancing for me. Win-win!

Watch Laurie Hernandez’s MJ Routine!

2. The Middle
This show is totally underrated. We love the Hecks! We love their honesty, their epic fails and how no matter what, they always get back up. We love Brick’s pizza bag-backpack. We love Sue’s Dollywood job. We love Axl’s torture of his sister and emerging sweetness. It’s a breath of fresh air to see a tv family that isn’t rich or perfect. We usually make it for this one at its actual time.

the-middle

3. Sister Wives
Are you judging me now? Look — if my 15 year-old son wants to watch a crazy TLC show with me, I’m in. He loves him some TLC and this one is actually one of the more tolerable ones. We talk about how crazy they all are and how miserable they all seem and it helps me to know that I have not raised a polygamist. Disclaimer: my daughter doesn’t watch this one. Maybe in a few years, I’ll make sure she binge watches it so I can ensure I haven’t raised a sister wife.

600x600bb-85

4. American Ninja Warrior
I could write an entire paper on how I feel this show epitomizes America: survival of the fittest; strong, hard-working individuals working hard to win at the game of life; doing crazy stuff for reality tv. We love the vignettes. We love the women. We love the super crazy ones and root for them. We cringe-laugh when they fall on the first obstacle. We bond over the successes and failures. And props to the parents on Facebook who made ANW courses in their backyards…thankfully, we have aged out of that. (We would have just put out a few cardboard boxes beside the swing set and called it a day.)

ck9qgojuyaabv4r

5. Fixer Upper
Oh Chip and JoJo: how you complete us. We all watch your sweet selves and chuckle at Chips’s zaniness and I continually wonder how Joanna does all the millions of things she does and still manages to bake cookies with her kids. Clearly, she’s a better time-manager than I am. I salute her and wish my house looked like hers. My one concern: I hope she finds time to go on a girls’ trip. She seriously has earned a trip to the beach with her mom friends! And JoJo- if you haven’t…give me and my friends a call. We love the beach and wine and laughing and you would fit right in. Plus, you can fixer upper my house anytime!

600x600bb-85

So thanks, TV, for giving me and my growing kids, who are also growing too cool to hang out with me, a chance to bond and escape together from our busy days. No matter what some may say, it’s quality time and I cherish every minute.

photo-of-mom-and-kids

Take care of yourselves and each other,

unknown

Yellow Daisy Chick

October 13, 2016 3

August Break

I’ll be taking a break from blogging this month. I apologize to all of you and hope you will be able to make it this month without me. Haha!

I’ve decided to take this month to rejuvenate, revitalize, refresh, and renew. We all need to take a break from our lives and I’m hoping to be more creative when I return.

Until we meet again…take care of yourselves and each other!

xo YDC

August 1, 2016 2

We Are Better Than This

I’m adding my voice to the noise.

When I’m upset and my brain is chaos, I write to try to make sense of life. I know that I won’t make sense of any of this but maybe I’ll feel better.

I want to add my voice because I’m heartbroken like the rest of you. Too much violence. Too many people hating each other.

I’m adding my voice because I’m angry and I want things to change.

When I became a social worker, one of my major motivations was to do my small part to improve race relations. As a child of the South, I’ve always paid attention to racial conflicts and wanted to do whatever I could, in my own life, to work to help black and white folks get along.

Part of that work involved listening and putting my (white) self in the other person’s shoes. Living in my white neighborhood, with my white friends, with the legacy of my white ancestors before me, I may not have always understood things from a black perspective. So I listen and I learn and I work to understand where my black neighbors and fellow citizens are coming from. That is my job as a human being. That is all of our jobs as human beings and as Americans.

The shootings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile were captured on video, which left us with many questions. We weren’t there but the situations shown on the videos were horrific to watch and frightening to see human beings shot and killed over what appeared to be small things…nothing, really. And if there is more to it…why haven’t we heard the “more?” Can’t someone say something to make this make sense? Because it doesn’t seem like they can. Which smells like injustice. Which makes people justifiably angry because they are not being heard. Especially when these incidents have been happening forever and only seem to be getting worse.

And now someone took it upon himself to murder white police officers. That only makes everything worse. More pain. More fatherless children. More hate. More anger. More. More. More hearts breaking and more divisions and more of a gulf between the races.

A man supposedly hanged himself in Piedmont Park and the FBI is looking into it. Some guy named Joe Walsh is tweeting about “the Real America”, meaning white America. Trump stokes the racial fires. What year is this, y’all? It can’t be 2016. It’s either a bad dream or we’ve time travelled to the 60s.

It’s a sad, sad day but I’m more motivated than ever to keep my focus on loving people and listening and learning. I’m going to keep on working on race relations in my daily life because I think we are better together. I don’t want to live in a white America. And I’m white. I love my black friends and we are all the real America together. And I stand with you and know that we all want the same things in life: peace, prosperity, health, happiness for ourselves and our children. Black people are not the enemy. White people are not the enemy. Hate is the enemy. Love is the answer. We are better than this.